These lethargic beasts often present themselves in larger “working breeds” (oh the irony), though it is not uncommon for the sloth gene to transcend all shapes and sizes. Tips: Don’t look them directly in the eye. “You can take our grass, but you’ll never take OUR FREEDOM!” (Picture a Mel Gibson-face-painted pony in dirt lot.) And during the brief moments it’s worn, he will utilize it as a face club to bludgeon you with. Muzzles can help, but more times than not the clever little monster will convince a pasture mate to remove it.
You will be warned to keep them off grass for fear of founder, but no one will tell you how. They will roll under wire, climb over coops, and squeeze their well marbled bodies between fence boards as needed during greener pasture investigations. They are master escape artists, liberating themselves from stalls, cross-ties and paddocks. In addition, their low center of gravity means the well-placed kick will literally land “below the belt.” The circumference of a tiny Chapo hoof may seem to work in your favor, but once kicked by one (and you will be), you’ll discover that, in fact, what they lack in surface area they make up for in accuracy. Can you spot El Chapo?Ī Napoleon complex paired with an insatiable lust for food and freedom, these pint-sized peons are often given to small children by parents who we can only assume are terrible people, or wish to encourage their young to be doctors and lawyers and not pursue a career in crap management. A personality disorder predominantly found in small ponies, and even more commonly in mini-horse mutants, the El Chapo presents challenges for even the most skilled horsemen/women. These hedonistic little cretins often appear in the smallest of packages. Tips: Let me know when you come up with some. The astronomically high cost of ulcer medication.Most Neurotics are extremely intelligent and, depending on what personality they wake up with, can master training concepts relatively easily.Neurotics are A-mazing at incurring mystery injuries, and most of the quality time you’ll spend with them will involve Vetrap. Any minor disturbance in their daily routine will result in an immediate hunger strike.
They stall-walk in the barn and pace in the field. Woo, wooooo all aboard the crazy train, don’t forget your helmets.) Just making sure you know they could wig out at any moment! (But probably they won’t because they are wussy hot mess expresses. They can move every muscle in their body independently to avoid contact with a curry comb while balancing on three legs and holding one up in the salty cobra coil position. They resent being touched and enjoy playing the “your hands are lava” game during grooming. Neurotic babies seem to have trouble connecting to other horses and are often observed far from the herd, playing with their imaginary friends and grooming the barn goat. Literally, they come out counting feed pellets and hearing voices. Many attribute this personality type to trauma early in life, but seriously, some are just born that way. This special little star is commonly associated with Thoroughbreds, though can be found in all breeds. Nevertheless, below is a compiled list of some basic personality profiles you may encounter on your perilous journey into the soul sucking, wondrous world of horsemanship. If you can determine which “type” of animal you’re dealing with, it becomes easier to produce “solutions” or at the very least a better understanding of what fresh horse hell you can expect from that particular creature.Īt the end of a long day, any little idiot who decides to carve out a life attempting to translate and comprehend the thought processes of a toddleresque 1,200-pound emotionally unstable feces machine has their own problems to work out. Stay in the industry long enough, and you’ll start to notice similar traits and typecast each new horse you encounter.Īs with humans, horses fall into multiple personality profiles or variations of them. Each animal comes complete with its own personality “quirks” and preferences. If you’ve been around horses long enough, you’ve inevitably picked up on the fact that no two creatures are exactly cut from the same cloth.
0 kommentar(er)
